I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
