just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's get the cat blown out
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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