The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
