I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
