I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
