Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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