trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
