And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
