why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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