He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
