YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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