I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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