its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
