I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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