My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize