Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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