Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize