Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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