Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
