Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
