Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
