He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She bit a glass in half.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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