Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it hurts more in the daytime
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
