It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
