dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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