we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
