He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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