I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize