remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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