Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
