actually, I'm a sock model
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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