if i can run in heels then i can drive
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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