just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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