At least make sure they are 18
Why
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
