Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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