hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
