I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
