Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
