its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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