I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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