At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
