Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my sisters under your porch take her home
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
