The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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