i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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