we're blogging at a bar
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
