can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
