"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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