I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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