I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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