im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
