turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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