Define "chronic" masturbator.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
