i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
