this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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