Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
