My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
only if we run a train.
done.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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