brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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