No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
