5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
