I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
