paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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