shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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